Toys, but not for Tots

Sorry that I've been MIA these last couple of weeks; the Back-to-School rollercoaster had a few extra twists in store. But I'm hoping to get myself back on a regular schedule, and to leave myself some "Mommy Time" for posting and other diversions.

The next such "diversion" is going to be an adults-only "Toy Party," which I'm planning to host in my home. This came about because - as it happens - I'm more sexually liberated in my mid-thirties than I ever was in my early twenties (read: dumb-ass self-conscious virgin), and my husband has proven himself up to the challenge. Altar boy, my ass!

I'm sure that there's an etiquette to this type of thing, and of course I can't invite just anybody in town. What would the PTA say? What would the Brownies say? What would my MOTHER say?

That's a real issue, as it turns out, because I think Mom might actually be interested in something like this ... and I'm scared shitless. Simply put: I have GOT to figure out a way to do this without having her attend. It was enough to have witnessed the PG-rated pawing that Dad subjected Mom to each night as she prepared his dinner. I don't need to know what the Modern Maturity version of sexual conduct looks like.

Nor does my Mother, whom I adore, need to watch me choose a vibrator.

Anyway, plans for "Project Orgasm" are well underway. I will keep you apprised.