Ask, and Ye Shall …
… get your stupid ass kicked, that’s what.
Sorry. I need a minute to get hold of myself. There; that’s better. It’s just that I recently agreed to dog-sit my favorite Aunt’s mini wiener dog – to the complete and utter delight of my kids, and to the utter horror of my husband – and there was a bit of a firestorm.
“Is the dog there now?” He phoned from work, knowing full well that, yes, the dog was in the house. “You know,” he continued, “I don’t recall being asked.”
And that was when I lost it. “Asked?” Was he kidding? Because, if that’s how it works, my life just got a whole lot simpler. He’s never “asked” if I’d like to do the dishes, wash his underpants, clean the house, make his dinners or perform any one of several dozen assorted sexual acts. (Okay, he may have asked for some of those.)
But seriously: I was ready to crush him like a bug. And then I had an inspiration.
“Sweetheart,” I said gently, “no one is going to love you any less just because there’s an adorable little beastie in our house. The children are happy, I’m happy, and we’re doing a very small favor for the woman who – if you recall – brought us together.” I paused for emphasis, and then went on. “And just for your information, we don’t have to ask each other for this sort of thing. I trust you with all sorts of decisions, and you are seldom required to reciprocate. So SUCK IT UP!”
Then I told him I loved him, announced that we were having filet mignon and roasted veggies for dinner, and hung up the phone.
In the spring, we’re getting a damn dog of our own. And I’m not freakin’ asking!
Sorry. I need a minute to get hold of myself. There; that’s better. It’s just that I recently agreed to dog-sit my favorite Aunt’s mini wiener dog – to the complete and utter delight of my kids, and to the utter horror of my husband – and there was a bit of a firestorm.
“Is the dog there now?” He phoned from work, knowing full well that, yes, the dog was in the house. “You know,” he continued, “I don’t recall being asked.”
And that was when I lost it. “Asked?” Was he kidding? Because, if that’s how it works, my life just got a whole lot simpler. He’s never “asked” if I’d like to do the dishes, wash his underpants, clean the house, make his dinners or perform any one of several dozen assorted sexual acts. (Okay, he may have asked for some of those.)
But seriously: I was ready to crush him like a bug. And then I had an inspiration.
“Sweetheart,” I said gently, “no one is going to love you any less just because there’s an adorable little beastie in our house. The children are happy, I’m happy, and we’re doing a very small favor for the woman who – if you recall – brought us together.” I paused for emphasis, and then went on. “And just for your information, we don’t have to ask each other for this sort of thing. I trust you with all sorts of decisions, and you are seldom required to reciprocate. So SUCK IT UP!”
Then I told him I loved him, announced that we were having filet mignon and roasted veggies for dinner, and hung up the phone.
In the spring, we’re getting a damn dog of our own. And I’m not freakin’ asking!
posted by bogusboobs at 6:59 PM
7 Comments:
Good for you, Grace! Let us know what time dinner is tonight and the women of blogdom will be arriving for dinner. The food at your house is so much better than at mine!
P.S. If you are looking for a dog, you may have mine!
don't wait until spring. A dog makes people better humans and brings such joy to your life. Oh, sure, there's barking and shedding and shit, but who among us is perfect, I ask you? And isn't that a small price to pay for unconditional adoration? I'm also wildly fond of our new cat after a lifetime of shunning the little non-dogs. Pets make children more empathetic and understanding of vulnerablilty and the responsibilities therein. You won't regret it. Well, sure you will, but not big time.
actually I guess the purpose of this post was nothing to do with the dog... it was the "being asked" ... hmmmmm!!!
You are so right... because I always used to ask "HWIHTO" ... I never assumed or took anything for granted that he would agree, and mostly he never did, so it was easier to ask first...
during the divorce I told him I wasn't a nag or made demands, and his response is that I should have been more demanding... so
you go girl and do what YOU want; learn from my mistakes... he'll respect you far more for it.
I can't even imagine the look that came on your face when he said the word ask. I say get a dog, a cat and a bird. LOL
Lol! Can I say, 'been there, done that'! I did get my little dog 'without permission'. Unfortunately the dog got no end of grief, simply beause I left out the other half in the important decision.
But I love my little dog. He's still here!
Well I'd flip cause i'm allergic to dogs and I'd have to sleep in my car. But I'm guessing that isn't the problem with your husband!
Oh My....."I don't recall being asked"!
I'm thinking a nice Labradoodle, or better yet....A shelter dog.
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