My Body: Love It or Leave It
Having spent the better part of twenty years hating my body, I think I’ve finally decided to abandon all of that and just go ahead and love my short, matronly self. It gelled for me by accident late last night, and inspired a rather NC-17 posting that I removed almost immediately.
I’ve been spending a lot less time lately trying to hide my naked, bore-two-beautiful-children self from my husband of eight years. He made a comment about 15 months ago that could have kept me feeling a little insecure, and a lot shy, but instead I immediately lost twelve pounds and threatened to take my newly attractive ass, and our two children, and hit the road.
But then I decided to go in another direction (because I really do love the idiot), and I quietly started to expand his “horizons” in ways that he hadn’t expected. And, I hasten to add, in ways that no twenty year-old, flat-tummied Catholic girl I’ve ever known would consider doing. So hubby clammed up but quick, and he has once again become a frequent worshipper at the temple that is my mid-30’s body. And since that is the subject of this nonsense, I now return to it:
I’m still in the gym five times a week, but I’m doing what I like – a vigorous cardio workout – because I’m now primarily concerned with the health of my heart, and not the size of my waist. (I intend to be here to play touch football with my grandkids.) And I have no plans to go out and buy midriff-baring (read: stretch mark-baring) blouses or leopard-skin high heels.
But I’m done beating myself up, staying out of the pool when I really want to swim, and crying every year as bathing suit season approaches. Fuck it. This is me. Love me or leave me.
And by the way … see that idiot with the puzzled look who could barely get out of bed to head off to work this morning? My body did that, too.
I’ve been spending a lot less time lately trying to hide my naked, bore-two-beautiful-children self from my husband of eight years. He made a comment about 15 months ago that could have kept me feeling a little insecure, and a lot shy, but instead I immediately lost twelve pounds and threatened to take my newly attractive ass, and our two children, and hit the road.
But then I decided to go in another direction (because I really do love the idiot), and I quietly started to expand his “horizons” in ways that he hadn’t expected. And, I hasten to add, in ways that no twenty year-old, flat-tummied Catholic girl I’ve ever known would consider doing. So hubby clammed up but quick, and he has once again become a frequent worshipper at the temple that is my mid-30’s body. And since that is the subject of this nonsense, I now return to it:
I’m still in the gym five times a week, but I’m doing what I like – a vigorous cardio workout – because I’m now primarily concerned with the health of my heart, and not the size of my waist. (I intend to be here to play touch football with my grandkids.) And I have no plans to go out and buy midriff-baring (read: stretch mark-baring) blouses or leopard-skin high heels.
But I’m done beating myself up, staying out of the pool when I really want to swim, and crying every year as bathing suit season approaches. Fuck it. This is me. Love me or leave me.
And by the way … see that idiot with the puzzled look who could barely get out of bed to head off to work this morning? My body did that, too.
posted by bogusboobs at 9:47 AM
7 Comments:
Good for you!!! Our culture's obession with thin, unhealthy bodies has got to stop - and when we take good care of ourselves because we want to be here for our grandkids - not beacuse we are worried about our waistlines - we send such postive messages to our kids! Keeping enjoying the workouts - both kinds!!
I have never felt that confident about my body... I have lived with it and hated it all my life (and my ugly mug too... hmmmm. I am at that age when I shouldn't care any more, but sadly I do.
lotsa luv ann xxxx
3 cheers to you!! I'm trying to get to that place where I'm comfortable in my own skin........Nope, not there yet.
I have the weirdest thing where I actually feel *more* confident about my body when I'm in "revealing" clothing... Not to say I wander around in a thong bikini, but I mean when I'm at the gym or in the pool...
I think the gym does breed confidence... and I really have to go more often...
You are magnificent and your husband is lucky to have you. He should worship you. :)
Halleluiah and You Go, Girl! Self-acceptance is difficult to achieve...but so peaceful if you can get there. Thanks for this uplifting post!
AWESOME! You are my hero!
I've spent my entire life beating myself up b/c of the way I look too. I'm a short, stocky Italian, like my grandmother and her sisters. Genetics have worked against me since day 1.
I joined a gym this spring for me, not for anyone else. And to my husband's credit, he has never, ever once said anything about my weight. He thinks I'm "perfect" as is, he says a woman should be soft and curvy, not muscular.
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